Grief is something that affects everyone at some point in their lives. It is a normal, but nevertheless painful part of life for all of us. Whether it is the death of someone close to you, or the loss of a special relationship and the changes it may bring about, loss means different things to different people and the way we display our grief can vary dramatically. Some people may choose to withdraw and ruminate in their grief, while others may attempt to actively discuss it with others. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. The important thing is to recognise your grief and work through it to enable you to carry on with life. This does not necessarily mean forgetting or denying your reason for grieving, but dealing with that loss enough to feel content with life once more. If you or someone you know is currently experiencing grief, there are a number of things you can do to make the grieving process easier.

Information

Seeking information about the cause of your loss, such as what contributed to a death or relationship break-up, and what could be done to bring about the best possible outcome to the changes associated with this loss, can help you to see things more clearly and find ways to overcome your grief. This can present a difficulty, however, when the search for information becomes ruminative and answers may serve only to make you regretful of things you now wish you had done. It is important therefore, that you talk with others about this information so as to establish a rational understanding of what has taken place. Grief is not about going back in time to fix unfortunate mistakes, but rather achieving an understanding of what lead to the loss so that you can move forward with a new awareness.

Social support

Having people around you, who will care and support you through the grieving process is perhaps the most valuable tool in dealing with loss. While the manner in which support is shown and accepted may vary from person to person, just knowing that your friends and family are there to talk to or just sit with you in your time of need will make it much easier to deal with the thoughts and emotions you experience while grieving. If you are a friend of someone who is grieving, let them know that you are there for them, willing to listen and be a shoulder to cry on if they need you. Be patient and try not to feel pressured to fill uncomfortable silences, sometimes just having a friend be there in silence is all that they may need. Do not feel ashamed or embarrassed to feel emotional with your friend, as this is a very natural and often necessary part of grieving.

Practical support

Explore the supports that are available to you in the wider community. There are often other challenges that arise with loss, such as financial debt, legal problems, family changes and so forth. There are a number of services in the community aimed at helping people through these external challenges, however. If you are a friend or family member of someone experiencing these difficulties, you can help by researching services and organisations who may be able to help them and advise the person of the helpful supports available. Some useful resources are listed below. As loss can be associated with many difference situations, additional services and organisations to those listed here may be available that specialise in the particular assistance required for your situation.

It is important to remember that there are no rules or time limits to grieving. Loss will invariably bring about changes in your life, and all life changes take time forus to adjust to. The resources below can help to support you through this difficult time.